Saturday, May 21, 2016

Knowing Sorrow.

Sometimes the thought of how fast life has gone is overwhelming. A year ago I would have laughed at you if you said I would meet a man I love, be married, pregnant, buying a house. A year ago my heart was broken. It was trying to desperately mend.

I have known so much joy in the last six months. I've finally got that second chance in life... the one I hoped for. Prayed for. I've learned what it is to be loved and to love in return. I've married a man I look forward seeing in the morning and at the end of the day. I have an amazing son and a little one on the way. I am purchasing a home. A place to make my family comfortable. My own land to grow a garden to feed my family. Land to raise animals to add to the health my family will eat.

Yet sorrow abides. Finding out we were pregnant a month after we got married brought about joy and sorrow. My family felt we rushed. I was told my pregnancy was inconvenient. My joy was shadowed in hurt and sorrow.

I watched as my younger brother and his wife announced their expectancy. We were all joyful for them. My family showered them with gifts of baby items, maternity clothing and our excitement of the life within.

Where was my family within my joy? Taught that family comes first, I was alone with my husband, son and sorrow. We celebrate the coming life, I hide the sorrow that tries to rob the joy.

Innocent. Not even knowing of light. Yet, sorrow is known. The harsh reality of this world is not hidden from even the unborn life I carry. A life that should know nothing but of security and safety within the womb of love.

One day the sorrow will end. One day the joy will come in a glorious morning that will never allow sorrow in again.