Thursday, April 16, 2015

The Importance of Community Revisited.

Being there for each other. We all need someone at some point or another in our lives.

A while back I talked about the need for community while homesteading. As the  years have passed and life has gone through many changes, my thoughts have only grown stronger on the need for community. Not just in homesteading, but in parenting, life, single-hood and marriage. We are not created to be alone. God looked at Adam and saw that it was not good for him to be alone and along came Eve. 

Yes, these are my thoughts. I can't scientifically prove anything. I wont tell you that you have to live to my standard. But just think how awesome life would be if we could all truly be there for each other... would change a whole lot of things in this world we live in.

I love people. I'm totally a social butterfly. I can make friends almost anywhere. It's just who I am. It is so important for me to see people smile. I don't need to be center stage, I don't need to be showered with thank yous. In fact it makes me uncomfortable! The greatest joy is seeing someone smile... knowing they have been surprised that you thought of them... that someone cared enough. It's a beautiful thing.

On the flip side, I'm the kind of person who is there for you through the thick and thin. Best friend or simply an acquaintance. I've been known to get up and leave in the middle of dinner to drive an hour and pick up someone who missed a bus to drive another hour and half to get them home and follow it up with a another hour and half to get myself home. I couldn't tell a young girl no, spend the night at the bus stop. At news someone is ill, I'll make chicken  noodle soup and run it to their house. Someone needs to laugh, awesome! I'll find something ridiculous to do!

I've gone through some of my own lonely days. I know what it is to not receive a text/phone call for three days straight (say it ain't so!), to sit at home on a weekend with no one (son at his fathers and parents out of state) and just wish I could watch a movie or play a game with anyone, to feel like you have no one to talk to, to feel like you forgot how to laugh. I don't ever want anyone else to feel those empty emotions and so I do what I can.

I believe that is how it should be. We should desire to help someone when it is needed... and not for selfish gain, but because we just care about each others lives.

On the less personal end of my life... the homestead. I have gotten to know some amazing people. To see so many people in the surrounding community desiring to have animals, grow gardens or simply have projects to do. There is something to say about this community.

It is impossible to know it all/be able to do it all. But if you look into the community around you, you will find someone else that can. Seeds to be shared, animal grooming, butchering, ownership of a tractor. It is beautiful thing to see people coming together to help each other and be there for each other. To have a number of people who can be a phone call away with advice or visual know how. People who welcome you to their own little farm to show and teach you and others. Or simply there to encourage each other as we learn and experience together.

Not all my friends can understand my love for this little plot of land I have. Nor can they completely understand my desire for more land to grow a bigger garden and have more animals. Even when the temp is -5 and the water is all frozen, doors need to be shoveled free of snow and ice so I can get to the animals... I love it. I have to go outside at least two times a day. I get fresh air. But in the end, I couldn't have made it this far with out a community... a support group.

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Tuesday, April 7, 2015

He Didn't Pick Me.

I have two fears that I can't seem to shake. The first  is something happening to my son. The second is my son choosing to live with his father when he is older.

I don't speak of these fears often. There is nothing I can personally do to conquer either, so I pretend they are not an issue. As if they do not exist. Every weekend I watch him go with a smile on my face. I keep myself as busy as possible when he is gone, that way it's as if nothing is missing.

Easter was just this weekend. We decided to let him choose what he wanted to do for the holiday. He picked his father's family get together. I smiled and said you are going to have so much fun! But on the inside I was torn. He told me he couldn't wait to see what his father was going to buy him, the big egg hunt would be fun, and he would get so much money. Things. He was interested in things.

A part of my world crumbled. I felt rejected. Lonely. It is hard when you are the one teaching him, raising him, imparting the understanding of the word no, making sure he knows who God is. I don't have the extra money to buy him toys each weekend, take him out to eat regularly, get gaming systems/ipad/his own laptop. When he wants to use an electronic, when he is with me, than we share my eight year old laptop. That's just how it is. When a special event comes up on a weekend I have to beg and beg his father to take him. Usually he does end up going, but he doesn't know what happens behind the scene with my begging. I will not do it in front of him.

Sometimes it is simply hard. I want to be a fun parent too. I want him to think I'm great too. But I also so want a child that is well rounded. A child who knows he is loved by the way I raise him, not just by the things I give him. A child who is respectable. A child who doesn't think money grows on trees.

Oh my little love, I hope you know how much I love you.

This post was shared at:
The Modest Mom Blog
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Growing in Grace Linkup