Saturday, January 24, 2015

Hope in a Girl's Heart.

There is this dear friend to me. She has moved to Florida and I miss her. She, too, is a single mom. While I find the other mom's in my life to be awesome and I love them dearly, there is something to being able to just have a real, heart felt conversation from someone trudging through the same or similar things in life. To encourage each other along the path. To give advice. I love and appreciate her so. It was after a beautiful talk with her that perspective returned to my pretty little head. This is a small glimpse of my heart.

Dating as a single mom is nothing like dating as an independent woman. You have to evaluate everyone for not just the potential of your future, but your child's as well. Then there is the time juggling, not letting it interfere with your child... in fact keeping your child out of it to the best of your abilities. There are the insecurities of looking in the mirror and seeing the imperfections that mark your body in a victorious way that shows the power your body has to have brought forth the most amazing life.

I am still female. Plenty of insecurities. Plenty of hesitations. Living a lifestyle that was never intended to be lived. We are not suppose to raise our children alone.

I dream of... the day where I won't have to fight through life... the day when little things don't feel like battles... the day when I have a partner to get through life, to lean on, to hug me.

It is so hard sometimes to risk opening up your heart. Oh I want to! But to do so is opening up to vulnerability. To be vulnerable. So hard. When you have to be strong not just for yourself, but your child, then suddenly you have to let someone else in. You need to give up control. Place yourself in a position where you may get hurt again. Oh I want to!

There is so much hope in my heart for the tomorrows that will come. And while I may have to daily give up my insecurities and risk my emotions to get to know an awesome guy, it will be worth it. Of that I know and hold sure. I may need a little more grace than a single gal living life to the fullest on her own, but I'm so worth it.

My name is Abigail. I need a little grace, but I have a whole lot of Hope for what is to come.

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