The End is Near.... For the School Year That is.

How do you know when the school year needs to be over? Well besides the log saying so, the child has no more interest. Your sweet child went from utter excitement for school to "do we have to do school today". Your patients are being challenged. You want to scream "would you just focus", but instead you grit your teeth and try to show them... for the umpteenth time... where they are in the word problem. You silently remind yourself that in less than an hour your wonderful child will return as the books are closed.

Today is one of those days that you quietly remind yourself that there are only three and a half weeks left to this fun. Then you have a couple months off before the fun begins again in July. Just three and a half weeks. You force the pleasant smile and tell you child he is doing a great job as he completes a simple math problem in on 12 minutes. You try and bargain with a rare sweet in the hopes of finishing the next problem in under 5 minutes.

As you casually slip out of your chair and walk to the window, take a deep breath. Look at the plot that will soon be filled to the brim with fresh produce and just remind yourself, three and a half weeks. Then turn around with a fresh smile on your face and rejoin that child you love. With the tension left by the window, you can finish off the rest of the math knowing the end is near for this school year.

Rebel Against Winter.

Spring has arrived. How did I celebrate it? I grabbed lunch with a friend and made dinner for another and her family. It was a beautiful way..... except for the weather.

Umm... that looks like January!

That is not the start to spring that I would like. For church yesterday, I couldn't care what the temperature was, I needed a pop of color! So while I was dressed in a warm brown sweater, I grabbed a beautiful indigo blue necklace and earrings. Not to be forgotten, I grabbed a cute pair of heels and headed off to the church... in a barn. Typically this is a casual group. Yes, there is heating and air conditioning... but they still have a few knots in the woods that make great little peep holes to the outside world. Heels are not typical attire. I turned heads, got a few chuckles, and questions from the kids. My response? Why of course a barn is the best place to wear heels... Besides I am just rebelling against winter!

For a moment I'd like to address winter.

Dear Winter,
You have made your presence know. You have given us many days below zero this year. You have dropped more snow than necessary. Enough. No, like seriously, enough! Spring has arrived! It is time for flowers, sunshine, colorful clothing. It is time for the snow to melt, trails need to be blazed, animals want to graze, birds want to soar.

Winter, please, please, please wrap up your bitter weather, allow the snow to melt. Take you wind chill and black ice with you. My goats are antsy. My chickens feel cooped up. The garden is ready to be tilled. The dogs... oh the dogs!... they have blazed a war path through the house is a desperate attempt to get energy out. So please, be kind to spring. Give her a chance to shine forth with warmth. Share the spot light. Your turn with swing back around soon enough!
Sincerely,
Frozen Disapproval

The Humor in This Life I Live.

Grow a garden.... get some chickens.... you are a country girl right? Yeah, something like that! Zoom through five years and you will approach the present. You have what kind of animals.... are you a hippie? Yeah, something like that. I wouldn't trade it. Not for a million dollars and a mansion of a cabin on the top of a hill.

Let's face it, the moment you bring home your first animal your life changes. You say there will not be more, but, oh yes!, there will be more. Chickens are the gateway animal! Your life is forever changed. Even those who say they will not embrace it will be caught watching the animals out the window.... and just might end up prancing around with goats.

It's a life you dream about, you learn to embrace, you love. There are moments of frustration, moments of hysterics, moments of pure joy. Since I believe in living life to the fullest, I decided this post need to be a fun take on the last five years of my life.

Things I've learned-
-Lugging around 80lbs of feed gives you the ability to instantly guess how much something weighs.
-How to spot the shadow of a raccoon/fox at midnight on a new moon.
-That your heart will pound faster after a near slip and fall in turkey sludge than if someone scared you awake at 2 in the morning.
-Goats are super cute.... until your doe goes into heat!
-Your goat will escape and run on that one morning you decided to be lazy and let them out in your pajamas.
-You will spend countless hours watching your animals... with a silly smile on your face.
-Chickens really do have their own personalities.
-Your turkeys will think you are the best singer... ever!
-You will be amazed at how content life will seem.
-Life will at times be busier, yet more peaceful.
-Goats run fast. Especially when they know they can provide a free show for your neighbors.... who think you are crazy.
-You get ridiculously excited when you find your first egg.
-You will feel like a failure when your first animal becomes ill/passes.
-Digging in the dirt renews your spirit.
-You will be amazed by the bounty of fresh produce you will collect on your own piece of land.
-Garden grown produce has TONS more flavor than store bought.
-You will be that crazy person trying to ward off pesky bugs in random ways.
-You will find great joy in watching your child/nieces/nephews with the animals.
-You will forget how you managed without all your animals. 
-A weekend away from feed schedules will feel like paradise... but returning home can't come soon enough.
-You start off keeping your hands clean, a few years later you shrug when you get poop on your hand. It's bound to happen, just wash well!
-You will get super excited when your father surprises you with a new shovel for cleaning the coops.
-The goats will help in their own way.

Siren helping my unimpressed father.

Let's face it, there is ups and downs with life. Animals just add to the flow with more interesting and random ways. It's a life I love. It's a life I've learned to laugh at... cause let's face it, you just have to laugh when you slid down an icy hill on your bum with a dozen eggs scattered about. Life happens, but at the end of the day you have your precious and crazy little farm waiting to great you with excitement at your return. So, go hug a chicken, dance with your goat... or whatever animal graces your presence... you will feel better for it!

 
This post is connected to:
Homeacre Hop

The End of Online Dating.

Mothers. They are amazing people. Even when they sign you up for online dating. SURPRISE! I am happy to say that after a year and half of multiple dating sites, I am finished! It is a glorious thing!! I've meet and talked to some amazing guys. I know it is not the desired path for me and if my face happens to appear on another one... it is most likely my mom.

Fare thee well!

That said... Here are my thoughts (and some gleaned from the people I've gotten to talk to)-

1. It's like you are selling yourself. Setting up your account is stressful and fun. You go through all your pictures picking out a handful. You answer all the questions that describe who you are. But, while doing this you are picking apart every little thing. Should I use this picture? Maybe not, the angle is horrible and makes me look wide. My eyes look crossed in that one. While typing out your answers you question if you should say it like that, you may seem like a snob. But don't mention this, guys may not talk to you right away. It's like a guessing game of what will get more people interested in talking.
 
2. Honesty... say what?!?! Nothing better then reading a profile and thinking "Wow, this guy seems like he has it together, loves Jesus and could be a possible match". Then you start talking and suddenly mister do good turns out to be the opposite. He doesn't really own that home... it's his parents... and he lives there... with no job in the foreseen future. Or, 5'10" really means 5'7". Yes, I can tell how tall you are in person. How about my personal favorite.... "Yes, I am a Christian. Let me tell you about Allah. By the way, you are a strong willed woman that needs to be controlled by the wills of god." Umm, what god? Allah god? Than yes, I am a strong willed woman and no, I will not be controlled. (True story, that date happened!) It all ties back to the first thought, selling yourself. Just be real.

3. It's okay to say no. Sometimes it is so hard to not answer the questions/email sent to you. You feel rude if you don't.... even if there is zero interest. Or you start talking and realize that nope, he is so not the one. It may not be easy, but it is okay to say no.

4. You don't have to stay friends. A number of times I talked to guys who were really interested in talking further, but it just didn't feel right for me or my son. And then you get the "can we be friends". Followed by you feel bad for saying well, no. I'm not looking to make friends. I will say that the second guy I talked to on eH did turn out to be an amazing friend. We keep in touch and tend to see each other every other month. Not everyone is meant to be friends, not everyone is mean to be a permanent part of your life.

5. It's still discouraging. I was signed up for online dating because I had been discouraged with trying to meet people in person. It seemed that every time I said I'm a single mom, guys ran. It was so easy to have someone ignore you or turn you down online. But even that became discouraging after you spent time talking to a guy and having them say they want to end conversation after a number of weeks/months, because they meet a girl who doesn't have a child. It hurts, you cry, and then you just keep on going. I mean if they aren't interested in my son, then I'm not interested in them. We are a package deal. But, it still hurts that people can't see the amazing blessing he is to me. I found myself ignoring emails and keeping it all surface business talk. But you have to take a chance and push through your discouragement. When you do, you just might find an interesting guy who is willing to be patient with your business mode and wait for you to get comfortable with conversation.

This much I know... it's not the life style for me! I know it has worked for some, that is totally awesome! I look forward to seeing who the man of my future will be. But it also feels so good to deactivate the account and say it is finished!

This post is connected to:
Wise Woman Linkup
Modest Monday Link Up

Hope in a Girl's Heart.

There is this dear friend to me. She has moved to Florida and I miss her. She, too, is a single mom. While I find the other mom's in my life to be awesome and I love them dearly, there is something to being able to just have a real, heart felt conversation from someone trudging through the same or similar things in life. To encourage each other along the path. To give advice. I love and appreciate her so. It was after a beautiful talk with her that perspective returned to my pretty little head. This is a small glimpse of my heart.

Dating as a single mom is nothing like dating as an independent woman. You have to evaluate everyone for not just the potential of your future, but your child's as well. Then there is the time juggling, not letting it interfere with your child... in fact keeping your child out of it to the best of your abilities. There are the insecurities of looking in the mirror and seeing the imperfections that mark your body in a victorious way that shows the power your body has to have brought forth the most amazing life.

I am still female. Plenty of insecurities. Plenty of hesitations. Living a lifestyle that was never intended to be lived. We are not suppose to raise our children alone.

I dream of... the day where I won't have to fight through life... the day when little things don't feel like battles... the day when I have a partner to get through life, to lean on, to hug me.

It is so hard sometimes to risk opening up your heart. Oh I want to! But to do so is opening up to vulnerability. To be vulnerable. So hard. When you have to be strong not just for yourself, but your child, then suddenly you have to let someone else in. You need to give up control. Place yourself in a position where you may get hurt again. Oh I want to!

There is so much hope in my heart for the tomorrows that will come. And while I may have to daily give up my insecurities and risk my emotions to get to know an awesome guy, it will be worth it. Of that I know and hold sure. I may need a little more grace than a single gal living life to the fullest on her own, but I'm so worth it.

My name is Abigail. I need a little grace, but I have a whole lot of Hope for what is to come.

Oh Christmas Tree.

The festive season is over and we are left with tired conifers with their branches hanging low. All the lights and decorations are tucked away and the rooms are back in their tidy order. Fragrant candles burned low. Quietly, we slip back into the mundane life blanketed in cold.

But still, the tired conifers with their branches hanging low sits. Tossed road side or hidden in the woods, forgotten. The joy that was shared around lit branches since forgotten. Years of growth towards perfections discarded and now useless. Or is it?

Nope. Life abounds! We spend money to bring a moment of joy and relaxation as we sit beside the glow, but does it end when we take it down? Waste not! Rather add greenery to your runs. Add entertainment and exercise for your two and four legged friends.

Keep in mind that not all pines are safe for animals, so look it up before you toss it in. None the less, the animals love them! The chickens jump up on them and play king of the tree. The kids jump over them and play chase around them. The birds and goats love to nibble on them as well. Both have used them as wind breaks on the chilly days. And for added enjoyment, their runs are spiced up with shades of green.

So before you... or your neighbor... or you friends/family... toss those trees out, give them the second chance to provide joy.

This post shared at:
The Homeacre Hop

What Homeschool Has Taught Me.

I was that C average kid. The one who always dreaded taking the report card home; hated watching everyone always getting those stupid honor student bumper stickers knowing, once again, it would not be placed on my desk. My older brother always had straight A's and took trig and calculus to try and get a challenge in school. My younger brother was diagnosed with dyslexia and with a learning plan set up for him started to achieve B's and A's.

I did well in elementary... where they did everything on the board with you, but as I moved on to middle school I started to falter. As my 10th grade year came around I was beyond discouraged. I felt I was stupid. I didn't want to go back to school. I begged my parents to homeschool and they consented. For the first time I excelled. I felt smart. There was no competition, no students to roll their eyes that I struggled on yet another stupid algebra problem, no bumper stickers. (Although I've found some great bumper stickers!)

Credit

In fact, my year at home was the best year of my schooling life. My mother worked at the local Salvation Army and I went with her almost every day. I would help there and within no time I could run the front desk/phones/computers, give tours, pack food boxes, handle loads of clothing donations, and help organize holiday givings. All while accomplishing a day or more of school work.... AND I actually understood my work!! In fact, homeschool worked so well, I was able to work a head and skip 11th grade and found a private school that placed me in 12th, allowing me to graduate a year early.

Fast forward a lot of years... yeah we don't need to count.... and now I have a son of my own. I didn't take me long to decided homeschool was his option. And boy am I grateful for that option! I have learned so much about myself through schooling him. The biggest thing being I'm not stupid or slow at learning, I just learn in a way that is not typical to the public school ways.

The joy of knowing he has a fair chance in life.

I need to see the problem done while the one teaching talks through the details. A mix of audible and visual. My son is the same way. The more focused I have been this year, the more I have seen this. Am I grateful that all those years ago my parents took the time to homeschool me! If it wouldn't have been for their sacrifice, my son would not have the privileged he has today. Knowing the struggles that I faced in school, I know my son would have fallen to the same fate. But, seeing how we both learn, I am able to work with him to insure the best chance for him academically. And in doing so, I have been able to lay rest all the doubts in myself. I see it as freedom for the both of us. And it feels good knowing my little love can and will be able to excel!

This posted was shared at:
The Modest Mom Blog