Thursday, September 4, 2014

To Be Vulnerable.

There are so many things in life we try to turn our glance from. We try to be strong and tough and make things work. We don't want to show weakness. The American culture is a strong push for being tough. Is it how we are suppose to be? Is it even healthy?

What if we were to become vulnerable as a person. Yes, there are times to be strong, to be bold, to be tough.... but have we pushed it too far? Men can not cry, mother's have to be perfect, children can not know any hurt. If the man doesn't provide for the family he is a failure, if (for the stay at home or working mom) the house isn't clean she is lazy. Really?

What if men started showing their emotions more. What if we don't have every single toy in place? What if the husband loves to raise his children and the mother loves her job? What if.... god forbid... we teach our children how to lose and that it is ok to fail?

Wanting to date again has made me very much so aware of how hard, or "strong", I've had to become. Being a single parent makes you step into roles you wouldn't normally hold. I've had to step back and evaluate myself. Having been in an emotionally abusive situation has made me really good at trying to stay ahead of the curve. To try and see how things are going to happen, when they will happen, ect. When it comes to a new relationship, I can't do that. It is new territory for me.

I had spent a few years as a youth pastor. I loved the job. For me it wasn't a job, it was a dream come true. It was amazing to watch the kids learn, grow, trust, hope. But I learned that when you hold a place of leadership you are expected to be perfect. It is so wrong and not practical. We all have moments of heart ache. We all have struggles. Perfection only happens in a fantasy... and I don't want to live in a fantasy!! Why do we put such unrealistic expectations on someone that we ourselves will never reach? 

What if we took time to return to being a people who genuinely care about people? When we ask "how are you", what would it look like if we are genuinely expecting a reply other then ok? I've seen people take a second glance at me when I wait to hear their reply and respond accordingly afterwards. I've seen a person demeanor do a 180 in the produce isle simply because I helped them or made a small comment. People don't want to always be strong. Sometimes, even though you are a stranger, people just want to know they are not the only one with struggles going on. If we could get back to being a genuine, in touch with reality type of people..... what could our lives turn out to look like? To be or not to be... vulnerable.

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