Friday, August 15, 2014

The Truth About This Single Mom.

Having stepped back out onto the dating scene, I have learned some harsh untruths that are thrown at single moms. Granted there is always an element of truth behind every stereotype, but trust me, some of them are ssssoooo far from truth. Some of them are down right hurtful. Others only make the stubborn ones among us all the more stubborn.

As a single mom, you should just date whomever is willing to show interest. Umm, no. This heart is a valuable thing. Would you give the keys to your car to the first random person who asked to borrow it? No, you wouldn't. You wouldn't even consider giving your keys to some of your family members! That said, many of us have learned what it is to be hurt. We have learned some very valuable lessons and one of them is just how valuable our hearts are. We are ok waiting a few years to meet a guy who will treasure us, value us and be willing to be a team player.

Single moms are easy. FAR from truth! At least for this one. I understand the value of sex within marriage. Yes, I've been intimate with a man before, I have a son. But he was the only man, EVER. This statement may be true for some moms, but this statement can also be true for single men or women around us, sadly. I learned you have to give your heart and your emotions time to heal. Don't jump out of one relationship and hurry into another. You will be more likely to make another bad decision, add another hurt to the list. Therefore, if you are like this gal, you have let the hurts go and are ready to step forward into a healthy relationship with a healthy heart and healthy standards.

That girl comes with baggage. My little love is not baggage. He is the most amazing little man in the whole world. He is devoted to me, watches out for me, makes me laugh, makes me cry and gives me hugs when I'm having a hard day. He has taught me what true love is, what sacrifice is, what it means to be willing to give your life for another. One day, when you have your own pint sized blessing, you will understand just how awesome children are. You will know they are not a piece of unwanted baggage, but the most valuable thing that will enter your life.

Your are obviously not committed to the long term relationships. Once again, far from the truth. I spent a number of years doing everything I could think of to save a marriage that was not healthy. Sometimes we are left going- make this work and just deal with the mental/emotional/physical abuse or get out and give our child and ourselves a healthy, second chance at life. For me, my sons and my  health won out. But, I'm devoted. I want to be able to give my heart and the rest of my tomorrows to the man who God puts into my future.

There are many other things I'm sure other single parents have heard, these just happen to be the most common ones I've heard. We all have a story. Take the time to get to know us before you judge us and label us. The realty is that we have all made mistakes in our lives. We have all done something we wish we could change and take back. But at the end of the day, we still did it. It was our past. It makes up our story. We have learned from it, we have grown, we have changed. Yes, as a single mom, I am a bit more independent, I am a bit stronger, I am a bit more stubborn. I've had to be. I've had to make it and survive in a harsh world with not just myself, but also with the most important little man in my life right now.

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